daily prompt

What’s messier right now — your bedroom or you computer’s desktop (or your favorite device’s home screen)? Tell us how and why it got to that state.

My bedroom (both at home in Maryland and NYC…). Although my electronic devices could use a bit of tidying up as well.

How my room got to that state…I’m feeling a little all over the place mentally, to be perfectly honest. But for once, I feel like that isn’t causing me anxiety. I’m okay with the fact that sometimes life gets a little messy and you don’t have time to clean up or keep things in their place 24/7. Nobody should.

To be perfectly honest, I was in that state of “having nothing to wear” this morning, or rather, not knowing how to dress to suit my mood because I wasn’t sure what my mood was. I went for something easy—a baseball tee and these army green pants I’ve been wearing nonstop since I purchased them this past spring. And Sperry Topsiders because I’m suburban. Or something. Threw on my go-to makeup look, tucked my hair into a hairband and ran out the door. Despite this slapdash routine, I feel good about myself. I mean, my shirt is clean and my face looks good—that’s about the most I can ask for on a normal, good day.

I’m thinking of starting a sporadically recurring thing here titled “Fundamental worldly truths via texts from my roommate/life partner.”

So after 1.75 days of moping around, I’m back to feeling decent again. That’s interesting. I feel different. I was looking at old pictures of myself and I don’t feel like I even look in the mirror and see the same person. But that might also be a consequence of not photographing well. Or something. 

Ok. Yeah. Hmmmmm. 

I went for a walk this morning around the Village, did some homework (emphasis on some), went to church (yah, I know. Really.), did some more homework, walked home, ate lunch and went to sleep for 3 hours.

And everything was a-okay. Why am I posting this? I don’t know, I guess the idea of being ok with doing nothing is an interesting one that is somewhat new to me. 

I dunno why I made this my tumblr icon. Random pseudo-deep thought of the weekend - I feel the most real on tumblr, but my image is me in a wig. Whereas on places where we’re supposed to be portraying our more “real” (well in theory) online version of ourselves, Facebook and Instagram, I feel so fake. 

Do you ever do things that disgust yourself way more than any embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you, that you wish you could just put on a wig and become some other version of yourself. Because I do and I wish that right now. 

I keep flip flopping between wanting to be my old self but knowing that when I was my old self, I didn’t want to be. What. the. heck. But the reality is I’ll never get back the part of me that really mattered because that died of old age just as it does in most people’s lives. Ugh gross - these words. 

so last night, we had a housewarming party at our apartment and supplied guests with an ever flowing stream of wine

I had one of the best conversations in recent history with a girl who probably won’t remember what she said or my name when she wakes up this morning and that is totally okay